Bear's Blog

I read recently that most New Year’s resolutions are starting to flag by January 17th, and are mostly given up on by mid-February. The theory about the time it takes to implement a new habit has gone from 21 days to 66. Armed with intention and willpower, it seems to be an uphill battle to ingrain a new activity. Even harder is replacing or changing habitual patterns; patterns that don’t support our best selves, that don’t help us manifest our potential strengths.

Is there a way to make it easier? It’s always difficult to start, and even harder to maintain – but when you get there and it becomes a habit, it takes little energy to maintain (ah…).

There’s a lot of advice out there on how to accomplish this! Get an accountability buddy; create an environment that takes choice out of the equation; have SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-based); break the goal into smaller chunks; reward yourself along the way; expect to fail (less pressure!); better self talk, like saying “will” instead of “should” – and it goes on. 

Another theory is to pick one. That’s right, ONE goal.  When it’s a habit after that magical 66 days, go for another. If you had a list of 4-6 resolutions, you could conceivably successfully integrate at least some of them in the year, one at a time.

Phew! So now we know exactly what to do (see the above list) to successfully achieve our goals. 

And yet…  

I want to look at some deeper patterns that thwart us in our desire to be better. Understanding it from the perspective of your Energy Signature will support all your well-intentioned activity. The energy types in your Signature are developmental patterns that arise in the first few years of life. Basic beliefs about the world are formed quickly, in response to our environment, and remain mostly unconscious.

What about that self-talk? Beating yourself up? Discouraged with your lack of discipline, your failure? Resignation? Excuses? It’s a bit different for each of the types, but here’s a snapshot –

• Priest – will start and stop, always optimistic about success but not getting any traction

• Lover – will give up the whole project as hopeless, and might feel quite emotional about it

• Gardener – tries and tries, but other priorities get in the way, leading to debilitating guilt

• Warrior – exasperated, and loathe to admit personal failure, they will persevere and possibly redefine success

• Royal – measuring themselves against the yardstick of perfection, they always come up short and will be relentless in their effort 

The patterns that are found in our Energy Signature interfere with our capacity for change. It’s the built-in operating system that is unconsciously driving our success or failure. We typically have a long list of self-improvements - we’re great at being critical of ourselves, usually finding ourselves coming up short. Unfortunately,  superficial approaches - tweaking around the edges - wastes a lot of effort. No wonder it’s so hard to affect meaningful change in our lives!

Knowing why – having an awareness of your Energy Signature – engenders more compassion for yourself as you aspire to be your best. Find out more about these underlying patterns in the “Early Development and Beliefs” sections in my book “Your Energy Signature”. I invite you to bring into your conscious awareness what is holding you back, along with a few pointers on how to start working with these limiting dynamics. 

Happy New Year – of the Metal Rat! Rat is dynamic and exemplifies progress, exploration and insight.  Let’s embrace the Rat energy to support positive growth.

Bear